It's all about Caroline

Colorado July 2009

Or, as it seems, sometimes it isn't all about Caroline. I don't know if the curse of the second child is real or a made up urban legend to help us parents feel less guilty for not having enough baby pictures, for forgetting their first word or remembering their first step or even sometimes noticing that they have their own opinions and personality and are not carbon copies of their older siblings. Aunt Shelly is even the founding member of the Second Child Club, to which Molly and Neil are members, as is Caroline. To my credit, there were technical difficulties surrounding Caroline's newborn pictures so yes, there are very few. It was an accident. Also, from the time Caroline was 7 months until she was 17 months is a total blur. That is when my mom was diagnosed with her brain tumor and passed away. I feel lucky that we made it thru each day and usually had clean laundry, let alone documented what her first word or first steps. I do know her first tooth was about 8 months, I know she ate sand at the beach at 8 months, (when we had to get out of the neuro hospital for a little while and ran off to San Diego). I know she was a turtle for Halloween,I know she wasn't quite walking when my sister got married in January, when Caroline was 13 months old - her flower girl dress was floor length - a lot of fun with a non-walker! But honestly, I don't remember Caroline then and it makes me sad. But, a lot of circumstances that were beyond my control made it this way and I hope as she grows up she will forgive me.

La Jolla August 2009

However, I will take the (unfortunate) credit for struggling to recognize and embrace Caroline's own personality traits, her likes and dislikes, her strengths, and her weaknesses - weaknesses that are truly hers and not just things she is not as good at as her sister. Does that make sense? I often say "Lindsay has it all together, Caroline puts everything together or can't get it together." Layers of mismatched clothes, inappropriate accessories for the activity, and she really prefers her hair down and unbrushed. We struggle to do hair daily. (It was awesome when teaching Art Masterpiece to her class yesterday my teching partner/friend asked if I ever brush her hair...believe me, I tried.) Steve and I have talked a lot about encouraging Caroline and finding special things for her - time to spend with her, to notice when she speaks up and does a good thing, when she is a good helper, and to really take the time to realize that just because she does something different than her sister doesn't make it wrong.

Roller Skating school fundraiser with friends from school September 2009

In trying to make the best choices for each of my children and our family as a whole, I picked up the book, The Time Starved Family. I have been wanting to read and find the magic answer to helping over scheduled families find their way and decide what is and what isn't important to maintain quality family time and progress and grow together, not just ping-pong from activity to activity. Here is where Caroline fits in. It is the start of Fall soccer season. Practice actually started last week and the first games are today. I have struggled with deciding if we needed to add soccer back into our schedule. I mean, I adore the sport. Played all growing up. Steve enjoys it with the girls - I think he was worried it was going to be always dance with the girls and soccer is his sport thing with them. But I didn't want to add one more thing. As it is, M-W we have dance, gymnastics (twice), activity days, and I have mutual. I have already had to say no playdates M-W; we are too busy. And the girls wanted soccer too. Oh boy. The thought of having to be in one more place just about put me over the edge so I delayed registration. A lot. But in thinking about it, I realized that Caroline needs her special thing, her activity that makes her feel important, her opportunity to shine! And soccer is it. She never stops talking about how soccer is her favorite sport. We call her Sporty Spice for a reason. She is adorable in her own little unkempt pigpen way and I love that and wouldn't trade her for the world. Lindsay will not be playing soccer. I know she is disappointed but with all else she has going on I think she gets that it is for the best. The coach as invited her to "assist" at practices and I think that helps fill that void for her.

First game of the Fall Soccer Season September 2009

Now go, my little soccer player - run and kick and score a goal or two - this is your season to shine!!